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When Whoppers Become Lies

I think everybody enjoys a good whopper and I’m not talking about a hamburger. I’m talking about those tales, stories, and probably lies. A whopper is different from a lie, though. A whopper is usually funny and told for entertainment, while a lie is not so funny and told for deception.

One of the most fertile fields for whoppers is fishing. I don’t know why but just start talking about fishing with a group of men sitting around the coffee shop and, pretty soon, you’ll hear a whopper.

Like the one Jerry Clower tells about his cousin, Claude Ledbetter. Jerry said that most everyone enjoyed fishing in his town in Mississippi, but Claude Ledbetter was the only one catching fish. Whereas everybody else was bringing home nothing, Claude was filling up the back of his old, beat-up pickup truck with river catfish.

An official of the Mississippi Game and Fish Commission decided to go with Claude to see just how he was catching all those fish. They got in Claude’s boat and the game warden said, “Okay. Let’s see you fish.”

Claude reached into the well of his boat and took out a long and slender stick of dynamite and lit the fuse. He let it get real close before he threw the dynamite into the river and it went “Boom!” Fish started rolling up to the top and Claude collected them in his net.

The game warden told Claude that using dynamite to fish was against the law, but Claude had lit another stick. He handed it to the game warden and the official asked, “Are you crazy?” Claude looked back at him and asked, “Are you gonna just sit there or are you gonna fish?”

Two young men were fishing from the bank and a game warden came upon them and asked to see their fishing license. One of the men took off running and the game warden ran after him. After about a half mile sprint, the man stopped, put his hands on his thighs as he bent over trying to catch his breath.

The game warden then asked to see his fishing license. The young man pulled out his wallet and showed the game warden a perfectly legitimate fishing license.

The game warden said, “Are you stupid? Why did you run when you had a fishing license?”

The young man answered, “My friend did not have one.”

These fishing whoppers are fun to read and hear, but have you heard some of the whoppers coming out of Washington these days. These fishing whoppers are told by amateurs when compared to the whoppers told by our politicians in the capitol.

For instance, the big debate this week is over the passing of a $3.5 trillion dollar human infrastructure bill. Most analysts say $3.5 is just the starting point and it’s likely to be $5 trillion dollars. It’s money we don’t have and will only add to the inflation that is already getting hotter.

Yet, there are politicians who can stand before the cameras and the American people and actually say with a straight face, “The bill will cost nothing.” Say what! That’s not a whooper, that’s a big fat lie. And it’s not funny, either.

Here’s another whopper. DHS Secretary Mayorkis, Vice President Harris, and White House Press Secretary Psaki can all say, “The southern border is closed.” Well then, who are the tens of thousands who are coming across, illegally, every week?

One more whopper from Foggy Bottom. Secretary Blinkin and even the President have told us that the recent surrender in Afghanistan was an “extraordinary success.” I guess we have changed the meaning of success.

Anybody have a good fish story?