If an alien landed in Washington

Published 4:01 pm Tuesday, April 2, 2019

If an alien from another planet landed in our Halls of Congress, what would it think? First of all, it would depend on the day it landed as to whether there would be anyone there! Since, 2001, the average number of days that Congress was in session each year is 138 days.

A late-night comedian joked (or at least I think he was joking) that “Today, the 113th Congress were sworn in at the Capitol. After which, one member was heard saying, ‘That’s enough work for this year.’”

I can’t decide whether Congress taking all that time off is good or bad. It’s bad if one thinks of all the work that needs to be done. On the other hand, it’s good considering that Congress, possibly, creates more problems than it solves.

America’s great humorist Will Rogers said this about Congress working. “This country has come to feel the same about Congress in session as when a baby gets a hold of a hammer.”

Another late night host said that after Hurricane Sandy, New Jersey governor Chris Christie lashed out at Congress for doing nothing for the victims. Congress quickly admonished Governor Christie, ‘Hey, we don’t do anything for anybody.’”

So, what if an alien landed in our Halls of Congress? If they had any prior knowledge as to the greatness of this nation, they might wonder, “how did this great United States of America happened.” If they landed in South Georgia and asked us, we’d give them the answer, “Congress didn’t have too much to do with our success.”

I looked up a poll that measured the popularity of Congress regarding their positive popularity ratings. The poll said Congress’ popularity with the people was named after the old game show Twenty One, meaning 21% had a good feeling about them. That high!?

The alien might settle in to watch one of the committee meetings and be impressed by the eloquence of those who like to hear themselves talk. But that eloquence is in contrast to the new study pointed out by Conan O’Brien that stated Congress spoke at a 10th grade level.

When asked whether he agreed with the study, former Congressman Eric Cantor replied “Nuh-uh.”

In today’s Congress there are plenty of new faces. One of the most photogenic and sought-after is the youngest member of Congress, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. She has a Boston University degree in economics. Perhaps that’s why she said, “I don’t think most of Congress understands how economics works.” Look in the mirror, darling.

Lest we think that Congress, as the butt of jokes, is a new thing, consider the words of the ancient Thomas Jefferson, who was an American before there was a Congress. He said, “If the present Congress errs in too much talking, how can it be otherwise in a body to which people send 150 lawyers, whose trade it is to question everything, yield nothing, and talk by the hour.”

I don’t know whether an alien would land or not. There would be plenty of places more pleasant and productive than our Halls of Congress. And, to be fair, it’s not all Congress’ fault. After all, who elects them?

However, it’s a crying shame that the people we have sent to do our business seem to want to do everything but the business that would solve our nation’s real problems. Our southern border is being invaded. We spend three dollars for every one dollar we take in. Our infrastructure is crumbling. Our healthcare is a mess. I could go on. But, no. Let’s get the “report” so that we can really get to the bottom of our problems!