It never fails again

Published 5:48 pm Tuesday, July 24, 2018

To say something never fails is probably not true because there are always exceptions, but there are some things that seem to never fail. At least for me. I wrote about this a few years ago, but I have noticed more things that never fail.

For instance, when listening to the radio when driving and you change the dial to one of your favorite channels. An old song that you haven’t heard in a while is playing and you smile as you remember the days past and this song. But, it never fails that the song is ending and, instead of getting to hear a lot of the song, your appetite for a favorite song is only whetted as its last few chords fade away.

Here is something else that never fails. You have been waiting for a certain phone call and it hasn’t come for many hours. So, you think, well, I will take a shower. As soon as you are comfortably in the shower, what happens? Right. The phone rings.

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Then a decision has to be made. Do you stop the pleasure of the shower and get out, dripping water all over the floor, as you try to answer the phone? And then what never fails? After your effort, the phone stops ringing just as you try to answer it.

Plus, as you decide to get out of the shower, you realize that you failed to notice that there is no towel on the rack.

I wrote about Donna Sue and me doing some work on walls and floors. Painting the walls begins with taking all the electrical outlets and switches off the wall. Many things never fail in this exercise. First of all, there is the forgetfulness of which switches go into which room and there are never enough little screws to put them back on.

What happens to the little screws? Who knows? They simply disappear.

When the room has been painted and the light switches are being put back on, this never fails. Some go on without trouble. However, since I’m not the most mechanically minded person…Donna Sue always reminds me that I did not go to Auburn where they emphasize engineering…I drop a screw.

One would think that a dropped screw would adhere to the principle of gravity and drop directly downward. How far can it bounce? The screw hits the floor and goes underneath the nearest appliance or piece of furniture. Or it travels at the speed of light into the next room. How does that never fail?

One more “never fail.” You might be in a hurry and have stopped by the grocery store for a needed item. You’ve got one thing in your hand and there are two lines. One line has someone with a full buggy, but the other line has only one person and a few items. Which line?

Of course, you go to the line with the one person and the few items. It never fails. The person in front says something like, “These are two for the price of one,” which absolutely perplexes the cashier.

“I need a price check,” she calls out. Delay number one. The price is checked and, sure enough, there is the correction that needs to be made. Then, upon payment, the cashier asks, as she has been instructed, “Would you like to register for our ‘special’s card?’ It only takes a moment.”

The moment lasts for five minutes while you get the pleasure of seeing the person who had the full buggy of groceries exit the store smiling back at you.

Ain’t life fun?