Country ramblings

Published 4:13 pm Tuesday, June 5, 2018

I’m on the balcony of a coffee shop at the Holiday Inn Resort, Jekyll Island, and it’s 6:30 in the morning. No one else is here and the Atlantic Ocean is calm. A scraggly oak blocks the sun for a few more minutes and I keep looking into the horizon for the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria.

A single bird chirps quite loudly and I appreciate that. As the Young Rascals of my youth would sing, “It’s a Beautiful Morning.” Time for a little musing from the latest news.

There’s a lot of buzz in Washington about the President’s summit with the leader of North Korea. I am hoping for success, but I have one request of the President. Please don’t allow the North Korean Chairman of the Board’s barber to be a part of the negotiations. We Americans want no part of that haircut!

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Plus, Mr. President, offer the Chairman a discount on some of your suits and ties. Kim’s wardrobe could use a little variety. Of course, if Mrs. Clinton had won the presidency and been so fortunate as to host the Chairman, their clothes would be almost indistinguishable.

Here is a thought about the weather. I’m thankful that Storm Alberto did not wreak havoc on our part of the country. At the same time, it’s ironic that the last place on television to get a rational weather forecast is the Weather Channel.

I’m kidding, sort of, because weather can be serious, especially if you are in the direct path of the storm. I’m thankful for meteorologists and their offerings, but sometimes every breeze or shower on the Weather Channel is Breaking News and the Storm of the Century. Let’s see. We’re eighteen years into the 21st Century and have already seen a dozen or so Storms of the Century.

I read that Coca-Cola is introducing their first alcoholic drink in Japan. In all of its glorious past, the largest soft drink company in history has never involved itself with alcohol. Well, I know plenty of people who would disagree. Ever heard of Jack and Coke?

I also read that the President is going to host his first Ramadan dinner. One thing to say about President Trump. He’ll go anywhere to make some news; even throwing a dinner at an old-timey, roadside inn! Get it? Ramadan Inn?

Speaking of the President, did you know he finally announced his favorite song? It’s the 1960’s Lynn Anderson #1 hit, “I Beg Your Pardon, I Never Promised You a Rose Garden.” I understand the President is thinking about pardoning Martha Stewart. All she has to do is redecorate the Oval Office and cook dinner for Melania and him. Wonder just how Ms. Stewart would prepare the President’s favorite-a Big Mac?

Wow! I see that the kingdom of Saudi Arabia has just issued its first driver’s license to a woman. A video was released showing the headscarf-covered lady receiving her license from the Saudi Arabian Department of Vehicle official.

A reporter was awaiting the woman outside the DOV office and asked how she thought her life would be changed now. She replied, “Well, for one thing, I can now drive from under the steering wheel in the front seat instead of from the back seat.”

And she added, “I’m thankful that, when my daughter and I get lost going somewhere, we can finally ask for directions; something my husband would never do.”

Finally, one more about the North Korean Chairman. It seems like his nation is asking for someone to pick up the bill for his stay during the Summit in Singapore. Who said that guy was a dummy?