Are you running for president, too?
Published 6:05 pm Tuesday, April 14, 2015
All you have to be is 35 years old and a “natural-born” citizen of the United States. Oh, and you must have lived in the United States for 14 years, although those years do not have to be consecutive. Those are the requirements for running for the Presidency of the United States.
Lots of people are throwing their hats in the ring for that job, but I am announcing today, through this column, that “I will not accept if nominated and will not serve if elected.” Before you say that was Lyndon Baines Johnson’s promise in 1968, don’t. William Tecumseh “Not afraid to burn bridges” Sherman uttered that pledge way back in 1884.
Let’s see. At this count we have three Republicans and one Democrat cranking up their election machines. There might be no more additions to the Democrat side of things, but I have heard rumors that as many as 32 more Republicans are getting the fever.
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How about you? Would you like the job? Or would you rather clean out your closets or rake the yard?
I don’t think anyone is surprised by any of the seekers so far and it’s way too early to think about the race seriously. Of course it’s not too early for television news departments. As soon as the Wednesday after one is elected, they begin to think about the next one. That would be okay except that they mistakenly think that we are just as interested. Not!
By the time one throws his or her hat into the ring, most people are already tired of their names. We know them so well that they are like “Elvis,” known only by their first names. That’s a good thing.
Like Hillary. Does anyone not know who is meant by the name “Hillary?”
She and her road crew are driving to Iowa from New York. What’s interesting about that? Hillary admits that she hasn’t driven since 1996 and I’m pretty sure she won’t be driving the van, which they have christened, “Scooby.”
I do not believe that women drivers are any worse than men. In fact, I read a statistic that said women drivers were responsible for only 40 percent of traffic accidents.
But, Hillary driving to Iowa does open up a few opportunities for some women driver jokes. The Republicans will have to be careful telling them but expect a few from Ted, Rand, Marco and the rest. I read a few real answers that were given by women during a California driver’s oral test.
Question: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
Answer: The color.
Question: When driving through fog, what should you use?
Answer: Your car.
Hillary’s age has already come up in many judgements of her presidential aspirations. Some feel that it is time for a younger generation. She will be in her late 60s by the time her first term would begin. Since I am about her age I see no problem, but at the risk of combining age and women driver’s jokes, I give you this one.
A policeman was waiting for speeders and stopped a woman. He said, ‘I clocked you coming around that curve and I thought, “45 at least.’” The woman looked at the cop and said, “I always look older in this hat.”
Folks, just think. We only have another 18 months of this!