People who wear their pants low enough to show their underwear offend me. Arrest them and throw them in jail.

People who wear pinstripes remind me of the Yankees baseball team and that offends me. Arrest them.

Women with “big” hair offend me. Arrest them.

Older gentlemen who wear dark socks with shorts offend me. Arrest them.

Men who wear flip-flops offend me. Arrest them.

If we are going to practice fashion McCarthyism, then let’s get rid of anyone who wear baseball caps indoors, anyone who dyes their hair platinum blonde, and prepubescent girls whose parents allow them to wear “Daisy Duke” style shorts.

And please, please arrest anyone who wears camouflage in public, because, yep, you guessed it, they offend me.

Insincerely,

Jay Smith Colquitt, Ga.