All I Want for Christmas

Published 11:30 am Sunday, December 10, 2023

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How would you finish the question, “All I want for Christmas is?” If you’re as old as I am you might remember the novelty Christmas song written in thirty minutes by a second grade school teacher, Donald Yetter Gardner, in 1944.

            Gardner asked his second grade students the question, “What do you want for Christmas?” He noticed that most of the children were missing at least one of their front teeth, hence the song, “All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth.”

            How about this for a Christmas song? “All I Want for Christmas is My Honda Accord Back.” The title may need some work, but let me explain.

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            About six weeks ago, I was driving my brand new 2023 Honda Accord on my way home from the Mitchell County church. It was dark and in the distance I saw an object on my side of the road. I had a split second decision to make; slam on the brakes and swerve to miss the object or straddle it and hope that it was soft and cuddly.

            I waited too long for the brake and swerve option so I straddled the object. Instead of being soft and cuddly it was a piece of metal. The undercarriage of the Honda Accord is very low and, as soon as I hit the metal object, the undercarriage was ripped to shreds, along with my radiator, oil pan, and gasoline tank. Major damage!

            Thankfully, I was not hurt but the brand new car would need major repairs. That was six weeks ago and the dealership has not been able to get a radiator and the supporting unit. Six weeks! Insurance has been very accommodating with a rental for a month and the dealership was nice enough to loan me a car until the repairs can be made.

            But, Santa Claus, if you could find my name on your “Good List,” perhaps the elves could make a radiator and its supporting unit. I don’t know if it could be brought down the chimney of the dealership, but “All I Want for Christmas is My Honda Back!”

            I’m not finished Santa. If I could have another request it would be this. All I want for Christmas, other than my Honda back, would be “All I Want for Christmas is My Shoulder Fixed!” What’s that all about?

            A couple of weeks ago, I was visiting someone and was under their garage which happens to have a concrete floor. I got tangled up with a dog, a nice dog, but playful. I started to fall forward and was about to plant my face into the concrete.

            Instead, I reached my arm out to break my fall and then fell full force upon my shoulder. My right arm and hand were rendered unusable except with great pain.

            They say you take for granted those things you can do so easily until you can’t do them. Try getting dressed with one arm or opening doors, eating and drinking, putting on a seat belt, all those things and more with the one arm that is not your primary one.

            I went for x-rays and, thankfully, didn’t break anything, but there could be other kinds of damage so I got an MRI for tissue damage.

            MRI’s are those tests inside a barrel. There are loud noises and you have to be still for almost thirty minutes. I’m in the barrel for twenty minutes, thinking that I’m almost finished. Then the technician comes in and tells me, “The computer went down and I’ll have to start all over again.”

            Santa, I hope you won’t put me on the Naughty List for what I was thinking!