Can’t wait to see how “Storm Area 51” goes down

Published 2:20 pm Friday, July 19, 2019

There have been a few instances where a viral internet meme has gone too far.

I don’t think I’ve ever been as entertained by an internet sensation as I have by this “Storm Area 51” movement. According to the event’s Facebook page, a group of people plan to meet at Area 51 in Nevada on Friday, Sept. 20, at 3 a.m.

The complete details of the event are as follows: “We will all meet up at the Area 51 Alien Center tourist attraction and coordinate our entry. If we naruto run, we can move faster than their bullets. Lets see them aliens.”

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If you haven’t heard about this yet, you have clearly been avoiding all forms of mainstream media for the past three weeks (which probably would turn out to be a good thing, to be honest). Every major news organization has done multiple features and interviews about this internet phenomenon. My Twitter and Instagram feeds are flooded with memes about everyone having their own alien, as if it would be some kind of pet to train, feed and play with.

It clearly started out as a joke among a tiny circle of friends. Some person created this event for the laughs. Then it was passed around on internet forums. Then people started joining in. Then suddenly, there are 1.7 million people who say they will be there on Sept. 20 to raid one of the most guarded facilities in the United States of America, possibly the world.

Are there any aliens in Area 51? Of course not! With all the attention this event has gathered, the U.S. government has surely moved all its aliens, crashed extraterrestrial space crafts and top secret spy gear to another safe, top secret location. It won’t matter, though, because the U.S. military plans on guarding assets of national importance from the general public.

“[Area 51] is an open training range for the US Air Force, and we would discourage anyone from trying to come into the area where we train American armed forces,” a spokeswoman with the U.S. Air Force said.

A.K.A. You try anything stupid, you will face the consequences.

I think the whole fiasco is hilarious. Every day there is a new story talking about how an event like this would logically happen, and they all end with the U.S. military using whatever force necessary to protect Area 51. Unfortunately, I don’t think the interest will remain as high for another two months. We live in a world where nothing sticks around our collective conscious for too long. Something equally as outrageous and silly will come along, and we’ll forget all about the Storm Area 51 event.

But, if anybody is crazy enough to take a trip all the way to Nevada for this event, then I wish you all the luck. I hope you’re able to Naruto run (something I had to look up, and I encourage you to do the same) so fast that you can dodge bullets, and I hope you find an alien.

I’ll sit back from the comfort of my own home and watch.