Last night TGIT returned. For those who don’t watch much television, yesterday was “Thank God it’s Thursday” on ABC. Thursday nights consist of Grey’s Anatomy, How to Get Away with Murder and Scandal all by Mrs. Shonda Rhimes.
I’ve watched Grey’s Anatomy since high school, and it’s one of my favorites. Last night’s winter premiere episode focused on domestic violence. The actual title of the episode was the domestic hotline number.
In the episode, Dr. Jo Wilson’s abusive ex- husband shows up at the hospital to confront her. In tow, he brings his fiancé, who Dr. Wilson feels the need to warn about what she is getting herself into. The ex finds out Dr. Wilson talked to his fiancé and becomes threatening again and vows to return and get her back for this. At the end of the episode, we learn he won’t get that opportunity, as he has been the victim of a hit and run, and may not live.
The episode struck a chord in me. I’ve written before about my friend who was the victim of an abusive relationship, and I spoke on how I often wonder how she is doing.
I recently learned a small tidbit about her life. I discovered it on her mom’s Facebook page and am still unsure of how to feel about it. What I learned is that she married her abuser. I have to question if she was coerced or if this was someone who she loves, despite his verbal and often physically violent outburst.
In last night’s episode I learned an abuser will often say something so many times that you begin to believe it yourself. I remember he used to tell her that no guy would ever want her, but she should be lucky he did.
Maybe my friend thought she was lucky this guy liked her and that no one else ever would, because that’s what she had been repeatedly told the last four years.
I feel so deeply for her. My junior year my roommate and I really did not get along, and her favorite insult was to tell me I was pathetic and no one really liked me. It didn’t matter that I knew I had friends; every time I wasn’t invited to something from that day forward that everyone else was at I told myself it was because I was pathetic and no one really liked me.
I only dealt with that for a year, but it stung. I can’t imagine hearing it for multiple years at a time. I will continue to advocate for victims because no one should have to feel like they aren’t worthy of being loved. No one should ever think that when they are hit or talked down on it’s their fault. No one should feel trapped.
I hope and pray that this guy my friend married has changed and that’s why she made this life-altering decision to begin a life with him, but in my mind he did this because he’s manipulative and knows now he is the head of the household and she must submit.
I pray that no one else has to experience this and that this awareness will change people’s mind and they will make that call and not be scared to walk away. I hope they know there are people who will give them true love every step of the way.