Squirrels eat car!

Published 4:11 pm Tuesday, January 16, 2018

I’ve told you about the squirrels in my back yard how they are so gifted when it comes to climbing the bird feeders and eating the sunflower seeds bought for the birds. One would think that sunflower seeds would be sufficient, but NO! They have started eating my Honda. I have proof. Expensive proof.

It all started in the fall of the year when the weather was warmer. I have found that during this cold spell we are having, the squirrels are much less active. There’s a silver lining in every cloud.

I don’t understand why our squirrels started eating on my car. In the fall of the year, there are plenty of nuts and berries. Plus the birdseed in our feeders was always plenteous. I guess they wanted something a little more substantial; like a carburetor.

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Actually, they started with a few wires underneath the hood. That was all it took to ruin the computer and sensor that activated my airbag. That indicator light came on a couple of months ago, but I thought nothing of it. Little lights in the dashboard are coming on all the time.  At least in my car they are.

Usually, I take care of indicator lights promptly, but, in this case, my scheduled maintenance was many weeks away and I decided to wait.

That time came last week and I asked the service manager to look at two lights. One was the airbag indicator light and the other one looked like a gasoline pump. I asked him to take care of them both, knowing that a full tank of gasoline would turn off the one that looked like the gasoline pump. He laughed and said, “That one you’ll have to turn off.”

I walked around for a while until I heard my name announced over the speaker. “Mr. Roberts, would you come to the service department.” There are times when the calling of your name is good and there are times when it is bad.

When mother calls and uses all three of your names, that’s bad. “Herman Lynn Roberts, come here.” Neither was “Mr. Roberts, come to the service department.” Same thing!

When I arrived, the service manager gave me the news. “Something has been chewing on your car and you need, not only a new computer and sensor for your airbag, but also an entire, new wiring system for your engine. Total cost could be $2500.” Told you it wasn’t good.

“I want to show you something,” he said. He had his flashlight and took me over to my car which was up on a hydraulic lift. He shined his light on a small portion of the wiring and it looked like some critters had used my wiring system for hors d’oeuvres. (Hors d’oeuvres is French for chicken fingers.)

“Can’t I simply replace those few wires they have chewed and call it a day?” I asked. It didn’t look like $2500 damage to me; at least I’ve never paid that much for chicken fingers.

“Oh no,” said the service manager. “It’s illegal for us to fix just that. We have to replace the entire wiring system. Plus we can’t let you drive your car. That’s illegal, too.” He talked like city hall and you know you don’t argue with city hall.

All’s well that ends well, though. Don’t cry for me Argentina. I called my car insurance agent and she told me that my policy would take care of it. But that I might want to check on my home insurance.

“What?” I exclaimed. “You mean the squirrels are going to eat my house, too?”