The three fantasy football archetypes

Published 5:59 pm Friday, August 11, 2017

There are three types of people who play Fantasy Football.

You have the person who researches every player, collecting data on their season outlook to make the most educated picks. They’re watching every game they can get their eyeballs on, cheering for their players to earn them points and cursing them when they don’t deliver. He has no favorite team, and if he does, he’ll cheer for them to lose if it means winning that week. Meticulous trade deals with other players are a staple. Hundreds or even thousands of dollars may be on the line, so it makes sense that they would have a vested interest in their fantasy team. But oftentimes these players forget just that: it’s a fantasy team.

Next is the homer. He picks as many players from his favorite team as he can, even if it isn’t necessarily the most winnable strategy. Naturally, though, it’s impossible to recreate the full roster, so he’ll reluctantly pick a handful of players that are good in their own right but may see more time on the bench. He’ll check his phone once or twice on Sundays to see how his guys are doing. First and foremost, he cheers for his team to win. Then, and only then, will he worry about the numbers in his Fantasy League. If there is money on the line, it isn’t enough to get worked up about. He’ll trade for players only if they are on his favorite team or is Tom Brady.

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Finally, we have the person who barely cares at all. He may be too busy to worry about picking the best players to win games. He may be lazy.

He may forget he’s even in the league. Nevertheless, he’s playing. This person always, guaranteed, will pick a player that turns hot sometime during the season and will receive multiple trade requests for him, because everyone knows this person isn’t paying attention anyways. None of them ever go through, though, because he never checks in with the league. Usually this person finishes in last place.

I’ve been in leagues with all three of these types of players. I myself fall somewhere between person No. 1 and person No. 3, interested enough to be a go-getter at the beginning of the season, but slowly tapering out as the weeks fly by. To be honest, the teams I pick are never very competitive anyways, so that might have something to do with it.

This year will be different though. In the two leagues I’m playing in, I’ll draft the best teams that will win it all!

Or maybe history will continue to repeat itself.