My take on the President’s First 100 Days

Published 4:13 pm Tuesday, April 25, 2017

I’ve heard just about enough of President Trump’s first 100 days. How about you? I guess the next focus for our new president will be the second one hundred days. I hope we don’t have to go through four presidential years in increments of one hundred days!

The media has divided itself into two camps: those who like the president and those who don’t. For those who like him, including himself, these have been the most amazing and productive 100 days in the history of the office. That I can tell you.

On the opposite side are those media that claim President Trump hasn’t accomplished “diddly.”

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I’ve done my own research and have come up with some little, unknown facts about the current occupant and some former occupants of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue’s most famous house.

Did you know that within these first 100 days of Trump, the sales of orange hair dye has increased by the greatest percentage in the history of Clairol? Plus, the “comb-over” has become the most requested hair style for men? Who says the Donald hasn’t accomplished anything?

Never in a president’s first 100 days have the words amazing, huge, unprecedented, and phenomenal been used so much to describe an administration’s accomplishments. You would have to go all the way back to the Obama administration to hear such descriptions.

Here is an interesting aspect of the “first 100 days” syndrome. President Trump calls it ridiculous and I agree with him. But, he was the one touting his first 100 days before he had them.

I looked up former presidents’ first 100 days. Actually, I didn’t look them up. I just surmised them all by my lonesome.

Our first president, the late, great George Washington, had such a problem with toothaches, by the time he had finished his first 100 days, he had filled his toothless mouth with ivory falsies. Also, within his first 100 days, George had issued one executive order. All liars had to eat a piece of cherry pie.

Andrew Jackson was known as the first populist president and he was anxious to tell his story. Within the first 100 days of his presidency, being a Nashville, Tennessean, he wrote a little ditty called “The Battle of 1814,” which details the battle of New Orleans which was actually fought in 1815, but who’s counting?

The song lay idle until Johnny Horton made it a number one hit in 1959.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt served as president longer than any other president, 12 years. But it was his first 100 days that interests us today. He married his fifth cousin, once removed. Her name was Eleanor and, in those first 100 days, he allowed Eleanor to sleep in the Lincoln bedroom. Of course she had to wear a stove-pipe hat.

Speaking of Honest Abe, our 16th president, during his first 100 days, he chose not to sleep in the Lincoln bedroom. It reminded him too much of himself. Our current president doesn’t have any problem with reminding himself of himself and, in fact, is thinking about renaming that iconic bedroom. He is toying with an executive order that changes the name to the Phenomenal Trump Presidential Suite.

Finally, the most unusual first 100 days belonged to our 9th president, William Henry Harrison, except for the fact that he didn’t he even get 100 days. Many of you old-timers will remember that President Harrison only lasted 31 days. He died from pneumonia just one month into his term.

One good thing. At least after this week, we won’t have to hear about the First Hundred Days!