Letters to Santa Claus

Published 5:09 pm Tuesday, December 22, 2015

The greatest joy of Christmas is, of course, to be found in the real reason for the season. I hope that all of you readers will know that joy this Christmas season as you gather with friends and family.

Another joy is the expectations that Christmas morning holds for those young children who just know in their hearts the reality of Santa Claus. I’m not one to want to get in the way of that belief!

Sometimes their expectations can be seen in their letters to Santa. Our modern custom of writing letters to Santa Claus is a little over a hundred years old, but I don’t remember writing a letter to Santa.

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Mark Twain’s daughter Susie once wrote to Santa and guess who wrote back? Mark Twain himself.

“People may talk if they want, until they hear my footsteps in the hall. Then you tell them to keep quiet a little while until I go back up the chimney. Maybe you will not hear my footsteps at all—so you may go now and then and peep through the dining room doors, and by and by, you will see that thing which you want, right under the piano in the drawing room for I shall put it there.”

I was interested in some of the funnier letters to Santa and found a few I would like to share with you.

Alfred wrote to Santa: “Dear Santa…You did not bring me anything good last year. You did not bring me anything good the year before. This is your last chance!”

Here is one from a little girl, but don’t let her sex and age fool you. She can get right down to business with Jolly, Ole Saint Nick. “Dear Santa…You better bring me a pony this year. Or there will be consequences!”

Most of the letters are formulaic; that is they express the writer’s goodness and then they tell Santa what they want him to bring. And most are pleasant, but here is one that is all business.

“Dear Santa, How are you? Well, enough chit-chat. Let’s get down to business. I want: a big Space Lego set, some jelly beans, a shark’s jacket and hat, an AK-47 Assault rifle and any Nintendo game you can spare.” An AK-47 Assault rifle?

Most of the letters remind Santa of the cookies that have been left for him, although there were a few that mentioned Santa’s physique and how he might benefit from staying away from the cookies.

“Dear Santa, I have seen your picture and you have really let your body “go.” This year, I don’t think you need cookies, so we are going to leave you some baby carrots and celery. That will be better for you.”

This letter writer is a future member of congress. “Dear Santa, Sorry for my past but this year all I want is $53 billion dollars.”

I think this one is my favorite. “Dear Santa, there are three little boys in this house. Jeffrey is 2; David is 4; and Norman is 7. Jeffrey is good some of the time. David is good some of the time. Norman is good all of the time. I am Norman.”

It’s a little late for my letter to get all the way to the North Pole, but maybe Santa reads the Post-Searchlight. “Dear Santa, I could have been a whole lot better this year, but I tried. All I want for Christmas this year is that all of my readers have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!