Hairy solution

Published 8:54 pm Friday, May 14, 2010

What better way to help BP (change herein as Buffoonery Perfected instead of British Petroleum) in their hapless attempt to stop the 210,000-million-gallon-a-day oil spill than to donate hair and nylons.

Diane Powell of Hair Designs on Shotwell Street said there’s a movement afoot to keep the hair local beauty and pet grooming shops have cut. The plan is to box the hair and nylons and ship them to an organization that will use it as an absorbent tool for the oil spill spreading in the Gulf of Mexico.

Makes sense.

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Hair—all types from human to dogs—is a natural absorbent for oil, and already there are Internet stories of nylon-stuff hair acting as the first line of defense along sensitive barrier island or shores against the oil sleek. A lot of residents in this area love to go to the beaches of Florida, and so we need to do our part in helping to protect those little pieces of heaven.

Cut your hair, shave the dog and toss all the hair into a bag. Throw the nylons in with it. Take it to one of the local participating beauty shops so they can ship it to the place it would help the most.

In the meantime, lets hope the golf balls, rubber pieces and other scraps of debris are successfully stuffed into the well that BP says may—may—work to stop the leak. May want to add some hair too because that’s sure to stop a drain, so it may work for a gushing well head a mile deep under water.