• 59°

Do these things happen to you?

I don’t think I live an unusual life. In fact, I’m pretty average and the things that happen to me probably happen to you, too. Many times I think about these things and wonder.

For instance, how can I be at home all day and not get a telephone call. Then, when I get one, I get two. What do I mean?

Most of us have more telephone than we could ever have imagined just a few decades ago. At one time, Alexander Graham Bell’s machine was fairly simple. It consisted of two cans with a string tied to them both. OK, I’m joking, but it was fairly simple.

Now, we’ve got cell phones that play little songs when they ring. Our home telephone systems take messages if we’re out, beep us if someone is trying to call while we are talking to someone else, and even tells us the name of the person who is calling. I don’t know how it does all of that, but it does. It’s not quite the two tin cans of yesterday.

Back to my exasperation. Like I said, it might seem like I don’t get a phone call all day. Then it rings and I am talking to someone important. “Beep, beep” comes the sound. Someone else is calling and the telephone won’t let me ignore it. Or worse, my cell phone goes crazy with my ringtone blasting out the University of Georgia fight song! No calls for hours and, then, in a matter of seconds, I get three. Does that ever happen to you?

Here’s another thing I wonder about. What happens to all the Tupperware lids? What is that all about?

There really was a Mr. Tupper. His full name was Earl Silas Tupper and he died in 1983. He developed plastic containers to use to keep small teaspoons of leftover food fresh until it molds after three weeks. Other companies had plastic containers for that use, but Mr. Tupper’s wares were distinguished by the “burping seal.”

Nowadays there are many companies that sell their food in reusable plastic containers. Plus, those companies that made their names famous for trash bags also make reusable plastic containers. What would we do without them?

But, what I want to know is where do the lids go? We put our Tupperware products underneath a cabinet in the kitchen. I know, because I put them there and I am careful to put a lid underneath with the container. Yet, when I go to get a container for use, there is no lid that goes with the container.

Could there be some alien force that is intent on stealing plastic container lids or, even more sinister, changing the sizes of them? How can I have eight plastic containers and not one, not one lid that fits that container? Is my house the only one affected?

While I am on the subject of the suspicious behavior of the universe, let me ask about a few other situations that I encounter.

There are those times when I am engaged in business at the bank or the grocery store. There’s nothing unusual about that. I may have one transaction at the bank or just a few items at the grocery store. There are two lines available. One has three people in it, while the other has only one. Which would you choose?

I’m saying, “Hallelujah, thank you Lord, for this short line.” Then I hear the store checker yell at someone, “I need a price check on instant potatoes.” Or, the customer slides his debit card through the card machine and says something like, “Well, it was good yesterday!”

Meanwhile, the other three customers at the other line have zoomed on through and, just as I turn to go in that direction, someone with two carts and 433 items pulls into the lane. I try to show them that I have only three bananas, but they refuse to say, “Oh, why don’t you go ahead?” That ever happened to you?

One day I was not in a hurry; had plenty of time. As I approached every traffic light, guess what? They conveniently turned green. The next day, I was to meet someone at noon. Right as I was leaving home, the telephone rang and I stopped to answer it. One thing led to another and the conversation put me “behind the eight ball” on my appointment.

Oh, Lord, I need your help with the traffic and the lights. You know what happened don’t you? Red light! Not just one, but every one of them. Red lights and drivers out for Sunday drives on weekdays seem to get in the way only when there is the need for getting some where on time.

These are only some of the things about which I wonder. There’s more. How does one metal shirt or coat hangar become two, yet two socks become one? And when I get into the car and turn my radio on and my most favorite song of all time is playing, why is it always on the last half of the last verse? One would think that just one time, I would catch that all-time favorite from the beginning. How can I have 300 ball point pens in my house, yet when someone wants to give me a telephone number, I can’t find one?

Ah, life’s situations and questions. I’ll never know the answers or the whys or wherefores. But then again, I’m not too worried. I’ve got the feeling that you know what I’m talking about and we’re in the same boat. Happy sailing!