Thoughts about chocolate
Published 7:28 pm Friday, February 13, 2009
Some folks believe more chocolate is sold and consumed on Valentine’s Day than any other time of the year.
Even though it’s a biggie, Easter accounts for more chocolate consumption than any other time.
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Few of life’s thrills surpass chomping through the ears of a chocolate Easter bunny.
In 1992, I wrote a Valentine’s column in The Post-Searchlight taking gross liberties with historical and prominent quotations substituting the word “chocolate.”
This year’s Valentine message updates the 1992 version, with some additions and subtractions and more liberties with the truth. Most folks had a lot of fun learning of the historical attributions to chocolate.
Some samples please:
Shakespear—Now is the winter of our discontent. Made glorious summer by this bar of chocolate.
Shakespeare—Dost thou love life, then do not squander time, for that is the stuff chocolate is made of.
Geico—15 minutes can give you 15 percent more chocolate.
Japanese proverb—One kind word can fill three mouths of chocolate.
Barack Obama—If you are walking down the right path, and you are willing to keep walking, eventually you’ll make it to the chocolate.
Frederick Douglas—It is not the light we need, but chocolate. It is not the gentle shower, but chocolate. We need the storms, the whirlwinds and the chocolate.
Ralph Waldo Emerson—Truth, and goodness, and beauty are about different faces of chocolate.
Oprah—I don’t believe in failure. It’s not failure if you’ve enjoyed the chocolate mousse, the chocolate chip cookie, the chocolate cream pie ….
Ross Perot—Inventories can be managed, but people must be led to chocolate.
Bruce Feinstein—The distance between insanity and genius is measured by drops of chocolate chips.
Marie Antoinette—If the people have no bread, let them eat chocolate.
Herbert W. Swipe—I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure, which is: don’t give chocolate to just anybody.
Will Rogers—I have always noticed that people will never laugh at anything that is not based on chocolate.
Goethe—Chocolate is the golden chain by which society is bound together.
Bill Clinton—I didn’t have chocolate with that woman.
The Dalai Lama—This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is chocolate.
Will Rogers—I never met a chocolate Easter bunny that I didn’t like.
Albert Einstein—In the middle of every difficulty lies chocolate.
Douglas MacArthur—There is no security on this earth. Only chocolate.
JFK—Ask not what chocolate can do for you, but what you can do for chocolate.
Robert Shuler—When life hands you a lemon, make chocolate sauce.
Ovid—Let your hook always be cast in the pool where you least expect it. There will be chocolate.
Edith Wharton—There is no such thing as old age. There is only chocolate.
Walt Whitman—In the faces of men and women, I see chocolate.
Eleanor Roosevelt—Campaign behavior for wives: Always be on time. Do as little talking as humanly possible. Lean back in the parade car so everyone can see the President (eating a chocolate bar).