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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Published 12:33am Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Have you heard that beginning the first of this year, the 40 and 60 watt incandescent light bulbs that made America the greatest country during the last century will be phased out? The late, great Thomas Alva Edison is turning over and over in his grave fast enough to generate enough electricity to power his original Brockton, Mass., Power Plant.
By the way, do you know how many government bureaucrats it takes to change a light bulb?
Five. One to screw the bulb in and four to fill out the Environmental Impact Statement.
Before you get all hot and bothered, I did not say that the 40 and 60 watt bulbs will be illegal. It’s just that the Energy Independence and Security Act of 2007 mandated that all of the “Edison” light bulbs of the incandescent variety must be 25 percent more efficient as of this year. They’re not illegal to buy or sell; you just won’t be able to find them.
I was wrong on the number of bureaucrats that it takes to change a light bulb. It is only two.
One to assure that everything possible is being done, while the other screws the light bulb into the water faucet.
I’m not against saving money on more efficient light bulbs. In fact, I think it’s a great idea. That’s what progress is all about. But I sometimes wonder where in the Constitution of the United States does it say our government should spend their brain wattage dealing with light bulbs? Silly me.
Actually, Donna Sue and I have been buying those curly lights for a while. They’re real cute and remind me of a pig’s tail, but I won’t be using them to flavor my turnip greens.
They are a little more “pricey” though. A package of those incandescent ones had finally gotten pretty cheap. That’s just our luck; when we finally get to where we can afford something, they phase it out.
I guess I will have to find the silver lining in this cloud and quit my belly-aching.
Perhaps this new change in light bulb technology will result in lots of new jobs. I’m sure that’s right. After all, the design calls for much more imagination and work. I’m sure China will make the most of their new opportunity.
One more answer on the bureaucrats changing a light bulb question.
How many does it take? Well, let’s see. It might be the real silver lining for job creation.
It takes one to spot the burned out light and, then, his supervisor has to make the requisition. Someone has to type the requisition and it takes at least 12 clerks to file the requisition.
A mail clerk has to deliver the requisition to the purchasing department and a purchasing agent has to order the light bulb. A clerk has to forward the purchasing order and another clerk has to record the forwarding of the purchase order.
That’s almost 20 working people and we still don’t have the light bulb.
Wow. Pretty soon, we won’t have to extend unemployment benefits. We could have full employment. It may be a good year, after all.

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