Archived Story

It’s my Uncle Si tea glass that keeps me happy

Published 3:45pm Wednesday, September 25, 2013

By Lynn Roberts

It doesn’t take a whole lot to make me happy. Donna Sue does it all the time, but the other day, a friend of mine presented me with something that really touched my heart. He bought and gave to me my own Uncle Si Robertson blue, plastic, sweet tea glass!
It was just like getting that Davy Crockett authentic coonskin cap when I was a young boy. Or that official Roy Rogers red cowboy hat. Or that Lone Ranger lunch box with the neat thermos bottle.
Uncle Si Robertson is a member of the Robertson family and, if you haven’t heard of them, you haven’t had the privilege of watching the most popular cable, Reality show. It’s called Duck Dynasty. Two of the clan, Jase and Missy, visited Bainbridge a few weeks ago.
Uncle Si is known as the quirky one and says intelligent things like “Hey!” or “That’s a fact, Jack.” He is a Vietnam vet and is never caught without his 16 ounce blue, plastic tea glass. I called it a sweet tea glass, but here is something interesting.
Uncle Si drinks two gallons of tea a day…Unsweetened. He does keep ice in it, though. Wife Christine makes it the old-fashioned way, according to Uncle Si.
“Put three tea bags in a pot of water and bring it to a boil. Put a saucer over it and let it seep (I’m sure he meant ‘steep.’) Then pour it in a gallon jug and drink it.”
Being a natural-born and good southern boy, I like iced tea, too. I want mine sweetened and that ole, nasty white sugar is fine. Sweeten it while the brew is hot. I have been served unsweetened tea in a restaurant before and trying to sweeten it while it is cold and icy is like trying to put on your under-drawers after you have put on your trousers. It just doesn’t work.
What about that tea glass that is always in his hand? “My mama sent me that to me when I was in Vietnam—she put it in a boot and then put two jars of jalapeno peppers in each boot. I love my jalapeno peppers.”
I recognized that tea glass right off. I remembered how many decades ago, that kind of plastic, colored glass was common around “men-ya” kitchen table. Being so plain and unassuming, like carrying around what might be called an old-timey tea glass like that, may be one of the reasons that Duck Dynasty has turned into the most successful cable show of all time.
One more thing about the two gallons of tea that Uncle Si drinks every day. Wouldn’t you think it was bad for his kidneys? His wife Christine made him go to the doctor and ask about all that tea drinking.
From Parade magazine, “Hey doc, looka’ here (sounds like Si), my wife’s worried I drink a lot of tea.”
Doc asked, “Well, what’s a lot?”
Si answered, “Two gallons a day.”
Doc asked another question. “You have any problems going to the bathroom?”
“No, I go quite frequently, thank you.” But I bet he didn’t tell the doctor he went outside.
Like I say, it doesn’t take a whole lot to make me happy.

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