Archived Story

Hey, Gerald? Remember me?

Published 6:39pm Tuesday, April 2, 2013

I’m thinking about getting in contact with an old family friend this morning. Actually, I have never talked to him, but he’s family and I am sure he would love to hear from me.

His name is Gerald and we go all the way back to Uncle Adam and Aunt Eve. They lived in the Garden of Eden. I’m sure he is just waiting for my call. I better hurry. Pretty sure he has heard from other family members lately.

You might know Gerald Dempsey Posey better if I mentioned his nickname. We call him “Buster.” Buster just signed a nine-year contract with the San Francisco Giants for $167 million.

Cousin Buster is from Leesburg, Ga. That’s just up the road from here and, since Buster and I go way back, I thought I would give him a call.

“Hey, Gerald; Cousin Lynn here. How ya doing?”

“Say who?” Gerald was always a joker.

“Gerald; oh may I call you Buster?” I said. “Gerald seems so formal and I would really like to be more comfy-cozy when we talk. Really, we have never talked, but our family just loves you. We sit around here thinking about ways to be more involved in your life.”

I continue. “Sorry you couldn’t be here for Easter. We had lunch at Big Mama’s house in Cotton. You probably don’t remember Big Mama since you never met her, but I can assure you, you and she would have gotten along really well.”

Buster interrupts, “Now, who did you say you were? I don’t remember a cousin by the name of Lynn.”

“That’s alright Buster, ole buddy, ole pal,” I smoothly say. “That’s not the most important thing. You live such an exciting life there in Frisco. I’m sure it’s easy to forget the poor, unwashed, less fortunate members of your family. What’s important, now, is that you’ve been blessed with that huge contract and, well, let me say I’m looking forward to getting to know you better.”

“I’m pretty sure we’re not kin,” Buster says. There he goes again, joking.
“We have to be. There is so much in common. I mean you being from south Georgia and liking baseball. That’s just like me! Why, I bet you even had a momma and daddy. We’ve got to be kin!”

“Uh, don’t think so,” Buster says. “Plus I think my cell phone minutes are getting short and there is a long-lost brother trying to beep through.”

“Wait, Cuz. You wouldn’t hang up on family, would you? Besides, Aunt Sally’s been real sick and needs your help. Buster? Buster? Buster?”

Anybody got the number of that fellow who won the Powerball?

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