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James Lehman for president!

Published 9:06am Tuesday, May 22, 2012

I know we have gone a long way towards choosing a president for next year. Lots of money has already been spent and the mudslinging has already begun, but is it too late to add another name to the mix? I’m serious.

I have seen this promotion on television and heard about it on the radio. If it works like it says it does and how could they say something on television and radio that would not be true? If it works like they say, this man named James Lehman could be the greatest president of all time. You may want to know just who this fellow is.

I don’t really know if James Lehman is Democrat or Republican, but it doesn’t matter. He sounds perfect for our country. There are a few problems, though. For instance, he hasn’t volunteered to run for the office. But, if we can get him to simply say, “Yes,” perhaps all of our national problems will be over!

Okay, just who is James Lehman? He is the co-creator of The Total Transformation Program. Along with his wife, Janet, he created this program that is purported to “fix your child’s behavior.” I know that the program is for children who misbehave, but, hey, if it will work for a child, just imagine what it will do for all of us who are young at heart!

I haven’t been able to get in touch with James and Janet, so I don’t know how they think about my suggestion that he run for president. If he would, shoot, I will throw in the vice-presidency for Janet. Or vice versa, just so you know I’m not a male chauvinist pig.

The Total Transformation Program seems to be perfect for our country. From the website, I quote:

“Say Goodbye to Disrespectful, Obnoxious and Abusive Behavior, and Regain Control of Your Child, Your Family & Your Life.” Let’s just make one modification in the program. Let’s change the word “child” to “nation” and that’s all.

Would you like to get rid of all the disrespectful, obnoxious, and abusive behavior in this nation? I know that would mean saying goodbye to all the programs on talk radio and the so-called news programs that are really shouting matches, but so what? It might even mean saying goodbye to some kinfolks, but wouldn’t that be worth saving the country?

Here are some of the things that are to be learned from The Total Transformation Program. Keep in mind that the original program is for troubled and misbehaving children, but we are going to ask President Lehman if he will tweak his program just a little for the good of his nation.

For instance, the program is supposed to give parents “Ten words to say when a child gets mouthy.” Let’s simply imagine that after President Lehman takes office, we will have just the right, ten words to say to that smart-aleck prime minister of Kabukistan or wherever. The Oval Office will never be the same after The Total Transformation Program.

“What’s that you said, President Karzai?” asks President Lehman. “Vice President Lehman, get the soap and wash this man’s mouth out.”

Another part of the program is “Stopping the Blame Game for Good.” The program will give you a “word-by-word script to use with your child to get him to take responsibility for his own behavior and stop blaming you and others.” I can think of a current occupant that might need this pronto!

These two little bits of action are just the beginning. There are other things the program will help with. Things like how to eliminate acting out in public, Consequences 101, and preventing future issues before they even start.

The program is not without its challenges, though. I am not certain that the country, in general, and Washington, in particular, is ready for The Total Transformation Program. One of the five-star reviews of the program stated that it gave us “action items, a plan, and support.” In my mind that seems to say that we would have to change our strategies throughout the land and develop some plans. We have been flying by the seat of our pants so long that any kind of “action items or plans” might throw us for a loop.

Still, I am convinced that my hope for the Lehmans to step out of their limited worlds and take the bull by the horn would work. The website is full of testimonials. A grandparent said that she learned just a few words and, now, her grandchildren don’t argue anymore. Imagine what that could do for Congress!

One parent talked of all the lying, stealing, and anger her son had. Within 30 days, he was working with full privileges. Talk about a declining unemployment opportunity!

Finally, it would absolutely do away with the annual deficit and national debt. The Total Transformation Program only costs three monthly payments of $109, plus shipping and handling, of course. But if James and Janet Lehman would move to Washington and become President and Vice-President, we could forego the shipping and handling! And, there’s more. Order today or elect the Lehmans this year and get another program absolutely free. We could loan that one out for profit.

 

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