Men who need a gynecologistPublished 7:06pm Tuesday, August 31, 2010
You may think it a strange subject that I have chosen to write about this time.
By the time you finish reading this, I hope you will understand my object.
Some of you may even feel the need to share this article with others, males included. My aim is to shine some light into dusty areas of relationships that don’t commonly get swept clean. I’ll cover four corners of a room today.
Corner 1: If you are a man, and your woman is suffering from heavy periods, you need to come to the gynecologist!
Many of you men don’t really understand how literally draining periods can be for your spouse. When she avoids leaving the house because her cramps are severe or when she is intimidated by the possibility of messing up her clothes, it is not just an inconvenience.
In fact, it can be very threatening to her health when she flows heavily enough to soil the bed at night or her clothes during the day. When her flow is that heavy, it often leads to anemia and a feeling of being excessively tired. Her heart will have to work harder to compensate. Her outlook on daily activities will most likely be dimmed from the strain.
There are many treatments available today, medical and surgical, to help women that are suffering from excessive flows. Over time I have found that many black men particularly, are resistant to their women obtaining help. There is apparently a myth floating around among some such men that the womb or uterus is necessary for a man’s sexual pleasure. They express a very selfish view of the situation.
To men, I say, be open; just give us a chance to explain how things are connected and where desires originate. The truth is that the feeling of being worn down will have the most effect on her sexuality! That worn feeling can certainly affect your relationship while at the same time ignoring the threat that will endanger her long-term health.
If you are a man keeping your woman from getting help, you need to come to the gynecologist with her!
Corner 2: If you are a man, and you blame your woman for having frequent vaginal infections, you need to come to the gynecologist!
Frequent or recurrent infections can be a real problem for some women. Fortunately for most such women with this problem, the infections seem to recur for a period of time and then the problem resolves.
During the time frame that a woman is dealing with the infections, you can bet that she is very frustrated, concerned and trying hard to figure out what the problem is herself.
She is reading articles, going to the Internet and hopefully seeing the doctor. It is true that we can often identify reasons that increase the risk of recurrent infections, but that is not always true. At times we have to initiate on-going suppressive therapy.
Whether the infection is yeast (Monilial) or bacterial (Bacterial Vaginosis), be assured that the infection is not her fault. The infections cannot be blamed on poor hygiene, cannot be cured by eating yogurt and are not proof of sexual relations with someone else. She is bothered enough by these infections; she doesn’t need her man making it worse by laying a guilt trip.
If you are a man blaming your woman for vaginal infections, you need to come to the gynecologist with her!
Corner 3: If you are a man whose woman is working, raising children and paying bills, but seems to lack adequate interest in sexual relations, you need to come to the gynecologist!
We live in such a demanding and fast-paced society, it is tough to keep everything going.
For a woman who works for an outside employer, tries to keep the kids headed in the right direction, keeps the house in order and prepares most of the meals, sex may just be an “I’m too exhausted” kind of thing.
She understands that a man can have one foot in a bear trap and still want sex!
She is probably even glad to be cooperative with you at times. However, there just may not be enough energy left at the end of the day for her to come up with the interest herself. This decrease in interest doesn’t mean she loves you less, that she is bored with you or that she has another love.
The truth is she is just chronically beat. Baby-sitters, weekends away and vacations can be very helpful. If you are a man blaming your woman for lack of sexual interest, you need to come to the gynecologist with her!
Corner 4: If you are a man whose woman is fine most of the month, but she has a few days before her period when you would rather go hunting, you need to come to the gynecologist!
PMS or premenstrual syndrome can be very real and disabling for some women. Those few days each month before her period comes on, she may need extra understanding, patience and support.
Instead of running away, you may need to be more loving and reassuring, not absent without leave. She may need more help with the kids. You can gently remind her that sugar and caffeine may make it worse. You can hold her or take her for a walk. If she really is having a hard time, make sure she goes to get help.
A woman who suffers from severe PMS is truly suffering. I have many times heard a woman say, “That is not me, I don’t know what comes over me.”
Many women are burdened by guilt and embarrassment over their PMS persona. She may need help and you need to be there for her. If you are a man deserting under fire, you need to come to the gynecologist with her!
There are other rooms and other corners to be sure. I haven’t touched on specific problems related to teenagers or women around the time of the menopause. There are indeed unique challenges to being female, but there are also unique blessings! I hope this article helps clear out some dust in some corners. Thanks for reading and thanks for all the positive feedback I get for these columns. I hope they help! That is my goal.